How can Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling help us?
Our relationships have the potential to bring great joy, richness, and fulfillment into our lives, and at the same time, they can be the source of deep pain and heartbreak. This striking dichotomy requires an explanation. After all, how is it possible that our intimate relationships and marriages have the power to both, hurt and heal our soul? Let’s take a closer look.
Think of all the times you have heard your friends jokingly say I married my mother/father. Have you noticed that some of your acquaintances on their journey through serial monogamy, despite changing partners, manage to recreate the same relationship over and over again? Have you occasionally observed marriages and relationships of your friends “wondering “ What do they see in each other?” ... Do you recall “aha moments” regarding your own relationships when, all of a sudden, you noticed a re-occurring pattern you have been experiencing in your relationship? These important insights give us clues into the very nature of our relationships, which, ironically, is not at all what we think it is.
Looking at our past significant relationships we often notice that our relationship choices were far less deliberate and intentional than we thought they were. It seems that we have never actually “chosen” to be attracted to this specific person, or “decided” to fall in love with him or her. It just happened. Turns out, we are drawn to certain people, and this attraction emerges from the very depth of our being. Although we cannot control our attraction and fall in love, we certainly can gain an understanding of the nature of these forces within us. What makes us choose certain partners over others? What are the patterns we re-enact in our relationships? What are the origins of these relationship dynamics in which we find ourselves trapped? The answer to these questions holds the key to the secret to a lasting, loving, and fulfilling relationship and marriage.
Couples therapy and marriage counseling can help us see and resolve the baggage of the past, opening an opportunity to move from crisis and conflict to communication and connection. Once the couple is able to recognize and resolve the unconscious emotional patterns they have been replaying in their relationship, the healing process begins.
Harmonious and loving intimate relationships are a powerful tool for healing and growth. Through a loving relationship, we are able to align with our nature and purpose, have the courage to be present in our life, to be able to explore what life has to offer. Our relationships have the potential to bring up our old hurts, but they also are incredibly powerful tools for growth and healing.